Breathing is something I genuinely enjoy. But then…

Andrew Friend

When I take into account all of the incredibly questionable activities that I’ve engaged in over the years, all the fun and funky substances I’ve partaken of (some in rather prodigious quantities), all of the shitty but super-yummy processed foods and wholly unnatural ingredients I’ve consumed, all of the artificial sweeteners and other fascinatingly inventive and life-changing chemical ingredients they keep feeding us, and all of the new and exciting viral epidemics and previously unnamed medical conditions they keep discovering, I figure that things could start to get weird at any moment.

“How can I offend thee? Let me count the ways…”